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The Truth of being a Young Parent

Thanks to television shows like Teen Mom there are a lot of misconceptions of being a young parent. The show broadcasts the show as if the only problems teen moms face are "teen drama." The show doesn't expose young parenting for what it really is -- hard.

When your young and you become a parent you are forced with the decision to grow up, and by grow up I mean rather quickly. You skip the learning stages and go straight into adulthood which can sometimes be a dangerous thing. Your twenties are a crucial time to discover who you are and establish your life, but when you throw a child into the mix it is a whole different ballgame.

Your problems aren't who stops being your friend or who is sleeping with your boyfriend. Those are small compared to the even bigger issue like: How am I going to be able to provide for my child? When your young you have the time to figure things out like where you'll be living, what your job will be and how you will start budgeting your money. You have years to build yourself and break bad habits, but when you have a kid those years turns into months, days, even seconds.

Once you bring a baby into the world it's time to start getting yourself together. While parents in their late twenties to early thirties have the advantage of finishing school, memories of life adventures and a foot ahead on their career pathway--young moms are struggling even to finish highschool let alone go to college.

As a young mom I am forcing myself to finish college, but it isn't easy. The normal struggles of a college student include studying, clubs, internships, getting good grades and graduating. I deal with all of those stressors as well as finding time for my son, having to sacrifice on what internships or clubs I can join or give time to due to stretching myself thin. Taking five classes a semester is even close to impossible, it will probably take me a total of 6-7 years to graduate from college. I have to question if every single thing I do is bettering my son's future or a waste of my time. I have to choose my dead end job over unpaid internships because even though those internships are going to help me better my future I cannot afford to give unpaid time.

As a young mom you are forced to face guilt every single day. You feel guilty that you don't already have the house or the nice things. You feel guilty that you have to spend time away from your child just to be able to pay the bills having nothing left to show for it. You feel guilty that you don't have some ellaborate savings or endless time to play with your child. You feel guilty because of your age and the disadvantage your child has because of it.

As a young mom you have to face adult decisions like finances, utilities, medical, life insurance, retirement, college funds and an endless amount of debt due to adolescent decisions. 

Being a young parent is harder than it looks. Did you know that Teen Mom earns about $65,000 a season while on the average a young mom (or dad) will bring in only $23,000 a year.

Looking back I do not regret my decision to have my son. This post is to make young people aware that having a baby isn't as easy as it looks. So if you have the chance to prevent it, please do. Preserve your young adulthood: you will have so much more to give to your child later in life because of it.

St. Patty's Day Crafts

 

With St. Patty's Day coming up I was looking into crafts I could do with my little one. I am not Irish but I still enjoy celebrating the holiday and I would love for my little one to enjoy it too ( he is Irish!) Now you should know that I am a Pintrest addict. Seriously there is a bunch of projects I will eventually get to! So I used Pintrest to look up everything Saint Patrick's Day and these are my favorites! The best part is that these crafts can be done whether your a mom, teenager, boy, girl,
doesn't matter it will still be fun!

(Click on the pictures to be brought to the instructions!)

 

Credit: Outnumbered3-1.com

 

 

 

Credit: BettyCrocker.com

 

 

Credit: thedatingdivas.com

 

 

 

Credit: thepleasantestthing.com

 

 





 

Credit: playdoughtoplato.com

Basics for Moving into Your First Apartment



My boyfriend and I are currently planning to  move into an apartment by the summer. Currently we are living with his mom and decided that it was time for our own space again. Now this isn't our first time living in an apartment, but even after doing the process for the third time it is still frustrating. There is figuring out what we can afford, finding a place that meets our needs and planning/implementing the big move. It is both a tiring and time consuming process, especially if you do not know what you are doing. So I decided to make a step-by-step guide to buying your first apartment. With these helpful tips you are sure to enjoy the process just a little bit more!

Step One: Figure out what you can afford.

This is probably the most important step. The last thing you want to do is be moving into a place that will put you under financially. Renting is a huge financial responsibility that is to not be taken lightly. Sit down and figure out your income and expenses. Don't overestimate on the totals. If you are unsure it is always better to underestimate that way if you're wrong you'll just end up having extra money in your pocket (and that is never a bad thing). Start off by calculating your income, then in a different section list your monthly expenses. Make sure to not only include bills but things like groceries, gas, savings and even "going out" expenses. Once you calculate that total then deduct it from your monthly income total. The answer will be how much you can afford in rent each month.

Here is my printable that will help!

Step Two: Plan out your wants and needs.

Now it is time to make another list but this time about what you are looking for in a place. Make two sections: one for "wants" and one for "needs". Make sure you really think about what is a need or a want. If you can live without it than it is probably a want. This list will also help you when looking for places because it can serve as a checklist.

Step Three: Research and schedule viewings.

Some of my favorite sites to use are Truila.com and Rent.com. Sometimes Craigslist is a good option too (and a cheaper one). Narrow your search by using your price limit you figure out in step one. You can also narrow your search by filtering it with how many bedrooms or bathrooms you want, as well as location. While searching write down the numbers of places that matched perfectly to what you are looking for. It is ok to have a long list. In this situation the more the merrier! Contact these places and schedule viewings. The best way to make sure the place is a perfect fit is by checking it out. Make sure to bring your wants/needs list from step two to serve as a checklist. Also when walking through the apartment it is important to thoroughly check things out. The goal is to address any problems before signing a lease.

Here is a checklist I like to use!

Step Four: Make sure that you are prepared.

Before signing the lease you need to address a couple things. It is very important to make sure you are not getting in way over your head. Double check that with this apartment you are staying within the means of your budget. If you don't have any furniture yet I would recommend working that into your budget. Ask the landlord when he wants the rent due and if there are any late penalties. Make sure he will take care of the apartment if anything goes wrong (a pipe bursting, water back up, ect.) Also, ask how long the lease is for, whether it is a month to month lease, six month or a year. Only sign for what you know you can manage. Then when everything seems right sign that lease (and yes it is ok to squeal!)

Step Five: Plan the move.

The actual moving part can be quite stressful. It is a good idea to sit down and plan things out. You need to think about what to pack, what to get rid of, your means of transportation when moving and who you can get to help. First things first you are going to need boxes. Don't waste your time going to stores like Staples and spending money on them. You can get a lot of boxes from your local grocery store for free! Just go to customer service and ask if they have any extra boxes to give away. While packing use a filing system. Label one box for the living room, one box for the kitchen, ect. That way when unloading you know exactly where to put each box. The next step is deciding on whether you want to pay for a moving company or ask some friends. Personally I have never used a moving company. I find it a lot more helpful and fun to ask both family members and friends! (I usually bribe them with some free pizza). I do on the other hand rent a U-Haul. It isn't too pricey considering they go by how many miles you use but it allows me to only have to worry about one vehicle! Another thing I like about U-Haul is that you can get almost anything (trailor, truck, van ect.) After you have decided on that then you need to think about picking your moving day. Factor in the weather and availability of most people for that day. For example, weekends would probably work better than weekdays because less people have work.  Lastly, start getting paperwork together. Go to the post office and get a change of address form (will only last for 2 weeks so make sure you get your address changed from places), notify your employer, and get over to the DMV to change the address on your license. Still in school? Go to the registrar to change your address too! After that research cable companies in that area to get the best price. Then call them up and schedule with them to come on the day you move in or the day after! Call the electric company too to get the service switched in your name. That way when you move in you don't have to stress about those things.

Here are my printable packing labels you can use!

Step Six: Take the time to relax then get to settling in.

Seriously, put on some music and start to unpack. It may seem like there is a lot but this is the fun part! You get to decorate your place then way you want and you will be so happy once your done! Don't overwhelm yourself there is no time limit on when you need to finish. Work on one project at a time and reward yourself when you are done! Kick back, put your feet up and enjoy a glass of wine!

Combat Winter Wardrobe

With Winter hitting us full force over here in the Northeast it is essential to keep warm, but the difficult part is staying stylish at the same time. Honestly, there have been times where I even had to decide between being warm and looking good and I picked looking good. Sometimes my clothes just give my that extra bit of confidence I need to get through the day. So instead of having to keep making the decision to freeze my butt off or keep warm and feel yucky I find five essential things that meet somewhere in the middle. I like to call them my combat winter wardrobe. They're winter accessories that add just enough charm and warmth to keep me happy!

The first essential piece of my combat winter wardrobe are my boot cuffs. Not only do they look adorable over all of my boots, but they keep my legs warm too. I normally switch back and forth between my boot cuffs and my leg warmers. I have a collection of different colors to complement whatever outfit or jacket I am wearing that day.

My wardrobe wouldn't be complete without my scarves. I have one for almost every design and texture. My all time favorite has to be my burgundy tribal scarf. Scarves are essential for me because they keep my neck, ears and sometimes nose and mouth warm. I wear my scarves a number of different ways and they always complement my outfits. Sometimes I'll take a little bit of extra time to match my scarf and my boot cuffs.

I cannot do without my winter boots and my toes thank me for that. I will admit that I am an ugg lover for both the appearance and the feel. Putting on a new ugg boot is probably the best feeling in the world. Although they don't have the best traction in the snow they cushion my feet and keep them warm. Its as if the cold outdoors can't reach my feet.

I love my black little peacoat. It allows me to look fashionable and classy while staying warm. For colder days I like to wear my longer coat because it keeps my legs warm. I chose black peacoats so my other accessories like my scarves and boot cuffs would stand out. Other good colors to get are neutral colors like beige, tan and chocolate brown.  

What are your combat winter wardrobe must haves? Is there anything else I should add to the list? Please share in the comments below! 

I Got the One Year Old Blues

It's like one second your staring at this bundle of joy in your arms; so fragile and tiny. The moment you have been waiting for nine long months is presented right in front of you. Your whole heart is aching because it is filled with so much love and admiration. You kiss the forehead of your baby boy or girl and make that seldom promise to protect him or her for this day on, forever.

At least that is how I felt when I had my son Cj over a year ago. The day we had his first birthday I found myself thinking back "Man, where did that time go?" They weren't kidding when they said that time flies by, that they grow up quick/ Now here I am with a sixteen month old finding myself already trying to freeze time and reverse age. So many milestones happened in that first year. My son learned how to hold his head, sit up, crawl, play with toys, babble and walk. It all just flew by so quickly. Now I am stuck with these what I like to call "one year old baby blues".

As excited as I am to welcome in the future that is in store for me and my son, I can't help but to be sad. Here is how I knew my son was growing up too quickly:

1. He copies everything that I do-- No really, he is like a little parrot and it is kind of cute. It really became aware to me when I was cleaning my room one day to find my little man, make up brush in hand, pretending to put powder on his face. I had to laugh, from all the times that he has watched me do my make up it was funny to see him try to do the same. He even brushes his hair and sits when he has to go to the bathroom  (even though he is still in diapers).

2. I don't remember the last time he was still. It is like he went from crawling to running, no in between. I can't keep my eyes off of him for more than two minutes without him getting into something he isn't suppose to be getting in to. It is both a blessing and a curse. I promote his curiosity but forget multitasking or having any energy after following him around all day. What happened to the days when I could put him in his pack n play and all was good in the world?

3. He calls me mom! This is my favorite perk, before he couldn't even speak. Now whenever he sees me or wants something he goes "mom, mom, mom." I love it! I love knowing that he acknowledges me and knows that I am his mom. It definitely is enough to make my day and make me cry at the same time.

4. He is officially considered a Toddler. My baby is no longer considered a newborn. Now he is a toddler and that is a milestone I was just not ready to achieve. It is definite proof that my baby is growing up. In my head he is still that fragile newborn I gave birth to over a year ago. I am not ready to accept that he is anything else. No thank you,

5. He has his own personality. More and more I am realizing how much of his own little person my son is. Before I only imagined who my little one would turn out to be, but now I can see it. My little boy is crazy. He likes to yell, play, give kisses, and is cuddly when he is sick. He is loud and proud and fears nothing. My little boy is his own person and that is awesome.

What made you realize your little one is growing up? It is ok to admit that you have the one year old blues.